Saturday, March 16, 2013

I have returned from an Amazing Journey through the beyond...

Okay, not really. But it sounds better than me being too lazy/busy to post. So I'm really sorry. But I am back! And I have pictures! And! I have stories!

(This is a fairy-tale mixture/mash-up)

Everyone hates me. My stepmother is evil, my father is dead; all my stepsisters care about is what they will wear to the Valentine’s Day dance. Even my cat isn’t here to console me. He’s outside hunting. Also, I have a cold. Argh! Life stinks.
“We have to get rid of her,” says Emma. (I’m eavesdropping through the door to my sister’s room.)
“How?” replies Sarah.
“I don’t know, but she has to go. She’s just too pretty for her own good. Her hair is perfectly red and groomed. Her clothes are okay. Her teeth are perfect. Her bodywash smells too good. All the guys look at her, and never at us. ”
“She doesn’t even wear any makeup! It’s not fair she looks that great without any effort.” Are they talking about me?
“He we go! I’ve just had an idea. How about we destroy the…” My stepmother touches my shoulder.
“Are there rats in the walls, Rose? Why are you listening to the door?” I shrug, and hope she doesn’t ask more questions of me.
“Go do something interesting. Don’t you have any TV to watch or a book to read?”
“Nope. Just standing here, cooling my face on this door…isn’t it hot for February?” Hannah, my stepmom, looks at me funny and left. When I put my ear back to the door, my sisters are just laughing, and they don’t say anything else. They are up to something, but I have no idea what.

My stepmother is screaming. She’s outside, and I can hear her through the closed windows. She’s at her car. My sisters rush out. They talk to her, but I can’t hear what they are saying. They point something out to her, and she starts to scream again. This time, I can hear what she’s saying.

“ROSE! I WILL GET YOU! YOU WRECKED MY CAR!” As I said, she’s evil. So I run out of my room, down the stairs, and out the back door. I run and run and run out of the neighborhood and down the road. She can’t get me unless she can find me.

The clouds are gathering overhead. It’s going to rain, and I know it. I have no place to go. My friends wouldn’t understand, and I have no boyfriend. My Dad’s relatives all are super crazy, and my mom’s all are in Nevada. So I’m stuck. Out of the frying pan, into the fire, as my dad would say. He had all these silly expressions.
Then I have a thought. I’m an orphan, right? Could I go to an orphanage? No, because I have a legal guardian. Even though she’s evil, I wouldn’t count. So, I have no place to go, 35 bucks, and the clothes on my back. I can’t go back to get more stuff. I decide my first order of action is too find some cheap places to find food. I’ll also need a job. A place to stay will be harder to find. I’m cold, so I go around, ducking into different stores briefly to get warm. I wonder if I’m really pretty, like my sisters say. I don’t have a boyfriend, or anything, and no one’s ever asked me out. Why am I thinking about this now, of all times? Wow. Something smells really good. I follow the smell. It’s a bakery…decorated to look like a gingerbread house. I go in. What else am I supposed to do? A little old lady is arranging cookies in a display case. They look so good. I put 3 dollars on the counter.
“Cookies, please. However many that will get me.” The old lady smiles up at me.
“It’s a dollar fifty for a cookie, dear.” She puts two cookies on the table. “And a slice of pie for good luck.” She plates a piece of pie.
“No, I can’t take that, ma’am. Thanks though.”
“I insist.” She pushed the plate at me with surprising force. So I take it. And eat it. It is so good!! I eat the cookies, too.  They are so good…

I wake up, my face in the pie plate. The old lady is still arranging cookies.
“Oh, good, you’re up. It’s nearly closing time. You stay right there, I’ll be right back.” She walks into the back. I get up and, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, follow her. In the bathroom, she’s making a ton of noise. I risk it and peek in the little window at the top of the door. (I’m pretty tall.)

The old lady’s back is peeking out as she takes off the dress. I turn away, afraid what will be visible after the rest of the dress comes off. When I’m sure it’s safe, I look in again, and the old lady is wearing a black dress, with a ripped skirt and silver bodice. She dons a witch hat, and cackles. I’m not stupid. I get out of there quick. I am really scared of old ladies in Goth costumes. Plus, it’s all a little too Hansel-and- Gretelie for me. I’m out the door… and into the rain.

I’m soaked as I run away from the bakery and out of town, into the western suburbs. I live in the eastern ones, so I should be safe from the evil lady from the bakery and my stepmother. It’s getting dark, so I knock on the first blue front door there is. Blue is my lucky color. It’s really pouring now, and when a guy around my age opens the door, he looks me up and down and lets me in.
“Hey there. You need something?”
“A-a-a place to stay. Umm…your front door is blue, and it was raining, and there are two evil ladies who want to either kill or eat me…and… umm.” Wow, I’m so clever. And he’s so cute.
“Okay then. Umm…come in to the living room, I guess. I’m Jack.” He probably has no idea what to say to that. He gives me some dinner, introduces me to his mom, and shows me to a room. I was going to protest, but it looked so comfortable. He shows me the bathroom. When I come back in, his mom is fiddling with the mattress. She smiles at me and wishes me sweet dreams, and I lay down. I can’t get comfortable. The mattress is lumpy, and I end up lying on my pillows before I finally get to sleep.

In the morning, I inspect my arms. They are bruised. What the heck was in the bed? I tenderly sit down for breakfast. Jack asked me how I slept.
“Only okay?”Asks his mom. I apologize for being rude, and then tell her about the lumpy bed. She smiles, and Jack says:
“My mom is weird, and she’ll only let me go out with girls who can feel peas. So…umm…Rose? You want to go out with me Saturday?”
“Yes. Of course.” Because that was the perfect fairy tale ending.           


The first one is me, the rest of them are from pinterest.

 I love you!

Farwell, I will post again!